Working with Horses & Humans 

It’s time for more men to experience Equus Coaching!

As the sole male instructor for The Center for Equus Coaching, it has become a passion project of mine to invite more men into this work. Truth is, life coaching — both as a profession and for those seeking it out — is simply more sought out by women. I see this each time we begin teaching a new cohort of Equus Coaches-in-Training, as we’re lucky if even one male student joins us. However, this isn’t something isolated to Equus Coaching. In the International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) whitepaper, State of Diversity (Brooks and DeBroux, 2022), they surveyed current members and found, “Survey respondents skewed heavily female (assigned at birth) in gender identity, representing 66% of the sample. About 23% identified as male (assigned at birth).” (p.9)

Why is that? It’s a good question and one I’ve put a lot of effort into trying to answer. I believe the answer comes from exploring the barriers (real or perceived) that get in the way of men seeking out coaching. Through my conversations with men who do seek out coaching, and the 80+ conversations I’ve had with other men as host of The New Masculine podcast, I’ve come to understand that much of it comes down to our socialization — the implicit and explicit messages we’re taught as boys growing into men. Some of these messages include: men don’t ask for help; having feelings and communicating about them is a sign of weakness; and we should be able to solve any problem on our own. Even contemplating hiring an Equus Coach creates a situation where most men must confront these internalized beliefs.

How do we get around these messages so that more men in our lives get to experience the benefits of Equus Coaching? First, we…actually, let me take some ownership here, I — need to create opportunities that men can see themselves in and consider attending. That’s what I’m doing as I host The New Masculine’s premier Men’s Retreat this fall. Second, I believe we as men need permission and encouragement from others to invest our time and money into our own development. Seriously, many of us are NOT comfortable doing this.

So, here’s me breaking one of the rules of manhood I sometimes believe in — I’m asking for help from this community. Will you consider the men in your life and help me spread the word about The New Masculine’s Men’s Retreat going down on October 3-4, 2024, in Portland, OR?  Could you give some encouragement to a man (or a few men) who might benefit from being in a supportive community of men as he digs a little deeper into himself? I’d really appreciate the help.

I’ll end with my own invitation to the men out there. It may seem odd to think that standing next to a horse could offer insights into your life. But there is just something about an animal that size that requires a level of presence that you may not experience day-to-day. And in that presence, a space opens up between your authentic self and the strategies you use to navigate the world.

• From that space, you’re free to be who you are instead of who you think you need to be. 

• From that space, you define manhood on your terms. 

• From that space, more of you gets to show up — not less. 

• From that space, your authentic self is witnessed by other men who help strengthen, bolster, and celebrate who you came into this world to be.