Every moment spent with horses teaches me something invaluable. Whether it’s about learning how to work with them, building partnerships, reflecting on the way I show up in relationships, finding balance in my life, or simply embracing the present moment, I always walk away with a precious lesson. As an Equus coach, horse trainer, and lifelong horse enthusiast, I spend countless hours with these magnificent animals. Still, I actively seek new ways to interact with them to continue learning and expanding my horizons.
One of my favorite places to do this is at a local horse rescue that houses over 80 horses, each with unique stories. Many of them have complicated pasts, lacking trust or interest in humans. Yet it is there among some of the most “challenging” horses, that I’ve found my most outstanding teachers.
One of these experiences that stands out the most is the transformative lesson of building two-way relationships—something that applies to all areas of my personal and professional life.
Even after more than two decades of working with horses, I’m reminded daily that no two horses are alike. To truly connect, I must remain open, flexible, curious, creative, and, most importantly, willing to slow down and really listen. When I approach a horse with these qualities, we have a chance to co-create a bond of trust. This is no small feat, especially with a horse who may have every reason to be wary of humans.
But here’s the truth: building trust and connection can only happen if it’s a two-way street. If I lose sight of myself, get caught up in fear or pressure, and fail to listen to the horse’s cues, the horse quickly lets me know. It’s in these moments that I realize—just like in any relationship—the importance of being present and receptive to feedback.
Horses communicate volumes through their body language, subtle energy shifts, and the delicate balance of curiosity and distance. There’s no script to follow, only a thousand nuances that can make or break the interaction. Over time, I’ve learned to go beyond just seeing—I’ve learned to feel. I sense their emotions, track shifts in their energy, and tap into a deeper level of understanding. This openness has not only brought me closer to the horses but has also deepened my sense of safety and confidence in myself. It’s this journey—from fear to trust—that I’ve learned to navigate alongside the horse, and it’s one of the most rewarding experiences I know.
Horses speak to us constantly with authenticity, honesty, and an inspiring non-judgmental presence. Their way of being is a lesson in itself—one we can apply to many areas of our lives. If you’re seeking to enrich your relationships—with others, with yourself, or even with life—spend time with horses. They will teach you, in the most experiential way, how to build healthy, balanced, two-way relationships. These lessons, shared through the quiet wisdom of a horse, are among the most profound you’ll ever learn.